So I am going to have a little fun with this post and step out of the box a little bit more than usual. On Friday I had my first date with a guy that two of my best friends wanted me to meet. We began with a group date as a means of letting him and I get to know each other in a more relaxed environment. Despite this, and even though I had a blast this night, I still felt as though I was analyzing and assessing the “connection” throughout the night and after the night ended. Luckily, things must have gone well because the first date led to a second date with just him and I. Now I find myself assessing the developing relationship and now that I know there will be a third date, assessing what will happen at this date.
The whole situation makes me think about dating in general and how important assessment is in the dating process- both for safety and for understanding the developing relationship. As someone who has a tendency to overanalyze things I find myself thinking back on the dates this past weekend and assessing all aspects of how things went. I think that in a date an individual assesses, communication, connection, enjoyment, amount of awkwardness, and if there was a spark.
The problem with this is that by spending so much time and energy assessing the date and all its aspects, the individual fails to really truly enjoy the date and stay in the moment. Because I knew that I tend to over analyze and assess things because of anxiousness, I told myself to focus more on staying in the moment and just enjoying the process and the moments during the date. By doing this I found myself looking back on the date with so much more enjoyment and positive feelings.
In essence, it is important to avoid over assessment in situations like this in order to simply enjoy the moment and allow yourself to fall into the relationship fully and wholeheartedly.